Remain calm, there’s a dog in the vents.

While googling for something to do with the unison file synchronizer, I was distracted by The Seymour Skinner page at The Simpsons Archive. Was particularly amused by P.A. announcements. Tee hee, etc.

Alas, no time to linger – I gots coding to do.

In other news, the cat is running around the house like a lunatic.

“Attention everyone, this is principal Skinner. I trust you all remembered to bring in your implements of destruction. Now let’s trash this dump.”

The definitive Oolong collection

The definitive Oolong collection – classic. Ooh, and thanks to Rich for the link!

(Oolong has appeared on Gimboland twice before.)

Screen cleaner

Screen cleaner [faron].


… and bowl ye with nuns [rivets].

Communication skills for email

Essential email communication skills [bash].

Various Möbius garments

I wear the Möbius belt!!! [tr]

Reminds me of the time when I was undergrad (doing joint computing/pure maths), and our geometry lecturer turned up wearing this most outlanding waistcoat, light blue with enormous lapels which reached right across the collar, and tapered all the way down to the bottom of the waistcoat. It was, we all agreed, a rather odd style statement for an otherwise extremely tweedy lecturer.

However, all became clear near the end of the lecture, when he explained that this particular garment had been lovingly crafted to order by his wife, and consisted of two Möbius strips stiched together in such a way as to create a garment with only one surface and only one edge. Yes indeed, the man was wearing a (very seventies) Möbius waistcoat.

l33t words possibly indicating illegal activity

A parent’s primer to computer slang – Micro$oft kindly bringing the cliched “is your kid acting strangely? MAYBE THEY’RE ON DRUGS!” school of parenting into the Internet age.

… information-age slang is commonly referred to as leetspeek, or leet for short

Well it’s sure as hell not commonly referred to as “information-age slang”, that’s for sure.

Rules of grammar are rarely obeyed… Mistakes are often uncorrected

Well durrr. We are talking about teenagers here, after all. :-)

Interestingly, no mention of pr0n, however – which seems odd given that (as everyone knows) it’s what the Internet is best at, and WE’RE TALKING ABOUT TEENAGERS HERE!

Update 2005-02-19: Hmmm, pr0n is there now (misspelt), but I’m fairly convinced it wasn’t there before, and Bash (who sent me the link) agrees. Either I am/we are a numpty and missed it first time round, or someone at M$ reads Gimboland. Come on readers, which do you think is more likely? ;-)

Update 2005-02-22: I’m informed (see the comments!) that they’ve corrected the spelling mistake. Gimboland clearly rules the waves. :-)

Red eyes, itchy sinuses, and a good night’s sleep?

Looking back over my diary, I’ve just noticed something my Mum said on Boxing Day while we were staying with them:

… like you get if you go swimming in chloroform.”

How to destroy the Earth

How to destroy the Earth [tr].

Bush bulbs

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

The Hasselhof Recursion

“Prepare to lose your mind” – The Hasselhof Recursion. Marvellous and utterly horrible, all at the same time. Via, of course, popbitch.

(Smug power users may need to reactivate animated gifs in their browsers for full Hof impact.)

Foolish consumer drone!

Beans on toast.

Elves Of Valinor Warn Of “Critical Security Flaw” In Palantír Browsers

Elves Of Valinor Warn Of “Critical Security Flaw” In Palantír Browsers. Classic.

Love burns like…

Andy’s amusing statement of the day (though “Cover me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians” comes a close second) is “Love burns like laser death rays. Of love.” I seem to have difficulty saying it out loud, however. The pic’s quite nice, too.

Ban the entire Hilton family.

Oh no, here come the proles [via TR].

…and will become part of their legion of zombies

People will sign anything [rivets].

IICF, Kitty!

Merry Christmas from Hello Cthulu [bash]

Toaster dmesg

Toaster dmesg, via TR.

Europe vs the USA

Europe vs the USA [via GalleryPy via dailypython].

This is also quite nice.


The exception which proves the rule

So says Bash, while listening to the very happy “Fast Lane Jive” on the African Footprint soundtrack:

“It’s impossible to listen to a penny whistle and not feel happy.”

<Short pause>

“Unless it’s a sad song, of course.”

The School of Deceipt

Heh… Bash just read me the following from Alvin Journeyman by Orson Scott Card:

“Verily learned to live with constant deception, hiding what he was and what he saw and what he felt and what he did from everyone around him. It was only natural that he should be drawn to the study of law.”

Gfump gfump, Heating and Air Movement News, which, being a schoolboy at heart, made me think of farting. Fnar.

Fuck The South

“Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole,” we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice. Absolutely fantastic. Pure distilled vitriol in its tastiest form. Thanks, Barbara…

Sitting on a stockpile of queer smut

Check his flower pot. Check his flower pot for gay porn. Classic.

Alien Loves Predator

Alien Loves Predator [ntk]: Kevin Bacon, Swipe It.

Valid use of the blink tag

Courtesy of TR, there is one valid use for the <blink> tag

Don’t let it get your cursor!

Cute as.

Operation Hammertime

Stop! Hammertime!


Don’t make me come down there and sing at ya…

Might as well hop on the meme train, as it’s a goodie… Show Tunes For Freedom! – fantastic. [null]

No sex please, we’re the Welsh Assembly

No sex please, we’re the Welsh Assembly.

An e-commerce website shortlisted for the Welsh leg of the 2004 national e-commerce awards, sponsored by DTI and InterForum, didn’t make it to the final round because its content proved too racy for the Welsh Assembly Government’s internet acceptable use policy.


One for all the Princess Bride fans

Defective Yeti does it again. Oh Matthew, how I wish I could write like you…

Eye eye, Cap’n!

Agent Fluffy has gone slightly beserk [via Dave A].

Peekaboo Pole Dancing

Peekaboo Pole Dancing [Jo]:

the world’s first fantasy pole dancing game designed for use in the home!

It even comes with a pole.

The peekabo dance Pole is not compatible with Peter Andre, Mr Blobby Or Bob the Builder. Peekaboo Dance Money is not valid currency in the Ukraine.

A what?

A belated pumpkin.

It’s ten to two, and that’s what Dave is.


There is no easier way to deal with your sock angst – what a fantastic idea! [act]

iPod vs cassette

iPod vs Cassette – a comparative study [bash].

Jesus M. Christ

Now that’s comedy [act]. I stopped reading Penny Arcade ages ago — too many references to computer games I didn’t and never would know about. But that’s class. Oh, go on then… Just one more.

Bill Bailey Blog

Bill Bailey has a blog (thank you, Barbara!). Alas, no mention yet of the recent and rather good thank you Swansea gig, although judging by comments on earlier gigs it wasn’t particularly hatstand, so maybe I’m expecting too much.

Anyway beardy man, we salute you and your broom!

Also, rise up ye masses and demand your rights!

Be realistic

Join me – smirk at the headline [wendym].


iicf [simon]. Fantastic.

(Context, for the uninitiated.)

Canine Comprehension Compendium

The 24 words every dog knows, according to Matthew Baldwin. Particularly nice to see “Brillig” and “Barebacking” there…

Chilled out Cornish ducks

The Cornish ducks made longer and more relaxed sounds, much more chilled out.

Dr De Rijke said she chose ducks because they were sociable and had a good sense of humour like humans.

I don’t know, we were at a comedy night here at the uni and this duck came on and he was all like, quack quack quack, and we were all like, that is like, so not funny.

Hey Hey 16k

Hey Hey 16k – required viewing for anyone who ever loved a ZX Spectrum. If you didn’t, well, go and watch it anyway, and ponder what might have been.

Shame it doesn’t get to the (fantastic) chorus until the end of the song, which as any pop mogul would tell you is entirely the wrong thing to do…

The Shining in 30 Seconds Re-enacted by Bunnies

The Shining in 30 seconds re-enacted by bunnies – does what it says on the tin, though I think it could have stood being a minute long, or maybe two.

SNDREC32.EXE grooves

SNDREC32.EXE grooves – very cool. “Getting creative with Windows”, as Andrew put it…

Alien venus flytrap jazz hand syndrome

Alien venus flytrap jazz hand syndrome, or, as Rich puts it, “just weird”.

Team Laser Explosion!

Team Laser Explosion! – rad.

Do you like secrets? There’s a fan club too.

Happy Star Wars Day

Happy Star Wars Day, people, and may the fourth be with you.

I’m amazed I haven’t said that on Gimboland before. Lord knows I’ve annoyed Rich with it enough over the years, as I shall now proceed to do…

Hell’s burritos

Hell’s burritos.

Black Books quotes!

Courtesy of the rather chocolatey Barbara, a site of Black Books quotes – groovy. I must download them and write a python script to turn them into a fortune cookie database, like I did for Coupling once upon a time. Rest assured that when I do, I’ll make it available here.

Ack, what the heck, it’s a five minute job so here we go: Black Books Quotes Fortune Cookie File. However, now that I actually look at the quotes, I dunno, they seem to be mainly long snatches of loads of dialogue, rather than the short pithy quotes I was hoping for. I may have to watch Black Books carefully and add some of my own.

By the way, if you want to use bbquotes.ft or coupling.ft with fortune, you need to run strfile whatever.ft first, to produce whatever.ft.dat – otherwise fortune is liable to complain. Anyway.

Simple, timeless, underpants.

Soylent Green is underpants! [chicken]

Crackling cardies

According to the ever-trustworthy popbitch, Tony Benn‘s rider for his recent lecturing tour read as follows:

Armchair (comfortable), rug, a vegetarian sandwich, fruit (esp. bananas!) and tea. Sound engineers should also be aware of possible sound interference from Mr Benn’s cardigans.


Something I spotted on the unofficial UWS Computer Science student forum: Just

Nice one seymansey, whoever you are…

Ikea Walkthrough v2.3.1

How to survive Ikea [yeti]

If you speak like the Swedish Chef you may be able to fool the employee into thinking you are the IKEA regional manager.

Darth Vader vs Mr Punch

So Darth Vader doesn’t like Mr Punch either, eh? [Thanks, Dave!]

Nazi Zeppelin Techno Bonanza

blode – rather odd but rather amusing too [bash]; also, anybody who’s enjoyed Elbow’s marvellous version of Independent Woman as much as I have (you know who you are, Malc and Bash), ought to find this mildly amusing. Any anybody who hasn’t enjoyed it yet ought to watch that just for the music, which is fab, and an excellent ghost track for CDs you make for your friends…

The Sounds of Redness

Now that’s comedy. Gotta love that yeti.

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